Bravo to the person who first considered substituting the word “suggestion” for “complaint.”  We may be well aware that a slotted receptacle situated in an obscure location of an establishment is still just a “complaint box,” but a subtle word change can at least offer us an alternative attitude.

When our desire to change things manifests itself in the form of complaining, the experience is rarely delightful.  Most of us realize the unproductive nature of active participation in the complaint department, but we often do it anyway.  Expressing our irritation when we experience any form of displeasure is practically automatic.

Four days of traveling in a car with the person that I have been married to for over 25 years has effectively illuminated the energetic properties of human annoyance.  There is a fine line between expressing displeasure to instigate change, and bitching about things that do not necessarily have to change in order for me to be happy.

Vibrationally speaking, complaining is like the gateway drug to criticizing.  Criticizing can open the door to the hard-core practice of judgment.  Once routine opinion-use becomes standard, the vibrational frequency regarding how we respond to the behavior of others (as well as our circumstances) is pretty much downhill from there.

Although I am becoming proficient with not opening my mouth to verbalize my displeasure, I’m still working to avoid formulating the thought of mild or severe irritation in my mind.  That part may take some time:)

Embarking upon a course to raise the vibrational frequency of this one aspect of my environmental interaction increases my birthright to enjoy life on the planet.  The energy of complaining, even in its mildest form, just feels incompatible with Who I Am and where I want to be.  The simple act of refraining from opening my mouth to verbalize things that do not please me has been surprisingly gratifying.

Of course, while making an effort to avert my attention away from complaining, it defeats the whole purpose when I take note of the 6 billion people around me who seem to bitch about everything under the sun.  I have to remind myself to stay focused on my own agenda, and trust that, in due time, the Universe will respond to my energy by minimizing the opportunity of things (and other people) to bitch about.

I will leave you for now, my dear friend, with a quote from Sir William Temple:

“Our present time is indeed a criticizing and critical time, hovering between the wish, and the inability to believe.  Our complaints are like arrows shot up into the air at no target; and with no purpose they only fall back upon our own heads and destroy ourselves.”

I used to pride myself on being such a practical, organized witch.  Since I started this blog almost one year ago, I have always looked forward to sitting down at my desk to write to you.  I still do.

After pouring myself a hot, strong, and black cup of coffee, I would usually light a long-awaited cigarette and start typing.  I am quite certain that this is the one feature of our visits that may never change:)

In preparation for sharing my thoughts, I would go about the business of living while making occasional mental observations regarding relevant subject material.  Most thoughts worth remembering were recorded by jotting notes on any available writing surface, or by filing any pertinent mental notes in my head whenever I could.  Once coffee and cigarette were in hand, I would begin writing by extracting all the visual flow charts, bullet-points, and 6 million other versions of organized ideas that had streamed through my head while contemplating aspects of this wonderful life.

Brimming with passion for our human experience, I remained committed to allowing my heart energy to flow freely among my words.  Our expansion toward conscious awareness of Who We Are is a fluid message.  Consistency in a strong current from Source Energy may have wavered on occasion, as I had always been more concerned with ensuring that my big, fat brain was well-equipped with information.  For how could I express my enthusiasm for us to remember Who We Are without relaying all pertinent mental notes that illustrate any corresponding ideas?

Such a practical witch, indeed.

Our minds are a beautiful aspect of our being.  It is an essential component in our ability to survive on the planet.  Without the ability to think and formulate thoughts, we could not function properly and set into motion our creative ideas.

As useful and significant as my mind is, it can not sustain the energy flow of my divine life force.  I needed a horse to show me that.

On a hot and sweltering morning over two weeks ago, one of our daughter’s beloved horses was ready to die.  This was not the first time that Big Red had been plagued with digestion issues, but this morning had been different.  I could feel the heavy sense of dire uncertainty in the air, and Katarina was overwhelmed with despair.

Even with all the necessary medical treatments underway, Big Red was physically unresponsive.  It had seemed that the pain was so unbearable that his transition from this physical plane was inevitable.  As my motherhood instincts roared within, I began contemplating the emotional journey that Kat would soon be embarking upon.  Once Big Red had made his departure from this life, I knew that our daughter would be in need of my unconditional support.  I found myself intuitively gathering the emotional strength that I would need to assist Kat through this soon-to-be shitty time.

I have always had what I ‘thought’ were actual conversations with Big Red.  After my experience on this memorable morning, I can now categorize most of these previous exchanges as mere mental shenanigans of my over-sized mind.  There was one incident in particular when I thought that I heard him tell me to “shut up and eat the grass.”  It seemed a momentous and relevant occasion at the time, but now I can differentiate between what is strictly going on in my fat head, and what is undoubtedly transpiring among the ethereal realms.  My mind has no standard operating procedure in this place where our beings are not limited to the dimensions of time and space.  It can only ‘think’ that it does.

Proceeding cautiously through the pathways of mind and heart, I felt compelled to remind this horse (who had been a part of our family for the past seven years) that we are here to make choices.

“Every experience is chosen, whether we do it with conscious awareness, or completely by default,” my rational-witch-brain repeated.   I said this to Big Red inside my head, as if it were a standard courtesy statement that one makes to a fellow being who is about to part ways along a new path.  I prepared my heart, braced my mind, and held my breath for yet another cycle-of-life encounter.

It is logical to admit that no one makes it out of this life alive.  Knowing this does not make it any easier when our loved ones (including our pets) leave us here to live without them.

For a lack of adequate words, this was when something happened. There was not a bolt of lightning that seared through my soul, nor did the skies seem to part.  A distinctive rush of sizzling energy did not travel through my being, and a beaming ray of hope-filled light did not shine anywhere within my immediate vicinity .  I did not hear a voice in my head, there were no apparitions flashing through my peripheral vision, and I did not feel even the slightest pang of relief wash over my heart.

I just knew. I knew that within an immeasurable space of time, Big Red had made a fully deliberate decision.  He decided to live.

It was a decision made within a pure and sovereign slice of existence.  Although Big Red loves Katarina with ever fiber of his being, his choice to live did not involve her.  The decisive nature of his firm resolution did not include any aspect that could be associated with a comprehensive realm of understanding.  There was a complete absence of mind-related matters toward relationships, physical environment, health statistics, and mind-over-matter thought patterns.  There was no consideration for progressive spiritual journeys, steps toward the advancement of enlightenment through near-death experiences, or purpose-driven agendas.

That damn horse simply made a clear choice.  He did it without flow charts and bar graphs to illustrate his journey.  No bullet points were considered to calculate his alternatives.  There was not a remote thought of his recent experience with yesterday, and no thought toward his hopes for tomorrow.  In fact, there was no ‘thought’ at all.

This was the morning when I remembered the place where my choices are made.  The more connected I feel to this divine source of energy where creation begins, the less words I have to describe it.  Big Red unveiled the place I had allowed my mind to forget.

What is this place?

It is the place where we make our decisions to live.

It is the place where we can continually choose from an infinite source of life experiences.

It is a place that exists right here in our present moment.

It is a place that is available to every single one of us, and is open for business every single day of the year.

If there is ever a doubt that this place exists, one only need to ask a horse:)

It often takes a lifetime of mediocrity before a human being is able to recognize their own inner voice.  This is the voice that remains consistent and true.  It fills the human heart with the assurance that all is well, and it reminds us that we are far more powerful than we can ever think we are.

Too bad we cannot always hear this inner voice.

Too bad we prefer that our life seem much more complicated than that.

Remember those big, deep breaths that we are reminded to take?  Sometimes it takes about forty-nine thousand of those before your inner voice becomes loud and clear.

Then there may be other moments in our lives when it will take at least forty-nine thousand more of those big, deep breaths before an actual connection with the inner voice is realized.

Since something so simple cannot be readily understood without the human illusion of complexity, there may be many more of these deep and significant breaths required to drown out the perceived influence of other human beings.

Until we feel confident in our decision to listen to what this source of divine energy is saying, we may need to inhale and exhale at least forty-nine thousand times more.

Bound by the physical properties of space and time, the ability to listen to our divine source of infinite intelligence can take anywhere from two weeks to fifty years before the simple message of well-being becomes your truth.

And even then, it may take over forty-nine thousand more deep breaths to live it.

Just keep breathing, my friend.

For thousands of years, mankind has formulated many words of wisdom.  In an effort to derive some meaning from our lives, we have effectively incorporated these words into our various ancestral belief systems.  Handing them down to subsequent generations has instilled a sense of comprehension and purpose within our earthly experience.

Being able to explain so many of our existing human scenarios offers us a sense of belonging.  When we hear certain words of wisdom that resonate within our being, we find comfort in our understanding.  We know that we are not alone.

There are so many ‘words to the wise’ to choose from:

“There is always a calm before the storm.”

“Anything that is worthwhile, is worth waiting for.”

“Good things come to those who wait.”

“An optimistic man will always see the glass as half-full.”

“Things always get worse right before they get better.”

“Everything happens for a reason.”

“Once you hit rock bottom, there’s no other way but up.”

“There’s always a lesson to be learned.”

“It is better to have loved and lost, than to not have loved at all.”

“A bird in the hand is better than two in the bush.”

“Don’t count your chickens before they hatch.”

“A penny saved is a penny earned.”

“Major setbacks usually come in groups of three.”

“When life serves you lemons, make lemonade.”

I am quite certain that the average human is aware of countless more.  The above adages, and the hundreds more that you may recall, are mankind’s effort to describe our human experience.  In every case that one human offers these words of worldly wisdom to his fellow man, they are more often than not preceded by the phrase: “You know what they say…”

Who are “they?”

On this marvelous August day, I ask that you take some time to ponder how these words were integrated into your personal psyche.  When did they become your truth?

It appears that there are a few projects in my life that require my full attention.  I am writing to let you know of my decision to take a brief hiatus from our visits.  Witch Works Best remains my favorite venue, and I will not be able to stay away for very long.

This will always be the one place where I am most comfortable disclosing my deepest (and sometimes silliest) revelations regarding this wonderful life of ours.  You are, and always will be, the one witch who makes it work the best!  Only you can provide the belief in your birthright to create the beauty of your success.

Until the next time we meet, I offer you a gentle reminder to spend less time gleaning any words of wisdom to define your purpose in life, and more time simply creating the unique life that you are already living.

Trust in your beautiful magic, my friend, and be true to yourself… always.  Love, Jillian

I am standing at the check-out counter in the 7-11 store when I notice the mood rings arranged in a cardboard display box.  One by one, I begin to try them on for size.  I pretend that I am just occupying my time while the young, tattooed man behind the counter looks for my cigarettes.

I think that I really might want one of these rings.

I push one of the colorful bands down and around the knuckle of my left thumb.  The ring immediately starts to change color, and I stare at it with strange and familiar fascination.  I remember that I had one of these when I was in high school.  Did I think it was as silly back then as I must know it is now?

I am still pretending that I do not really want this cheap and ridiculous mood ring when the young man returns to the counter in front of me.

He holds up a pack of cigarettes for my approval.

“These the right ones?” he asks.

“Yes, thank you,” I reply with a distracted smile.

Meanwhile, I am frantically twisting the ring below the knuckle of my thumb.  I am in a slight panic, because I realize that it is stuck.  There is not a chance in hell that this ring is going back over my big fat knuckle any time soon.

“I’ll take this ring, too,” I say while holding up my throbbing, beet-red thumb.  I might say this a little too loudly, as if I had been planning to purchase just the perfectly-sized mood ring for myself all along.

Great.  Now I am a grown woman who goes to the 7-11 store for her cigarettes and jewelry.  This is why it is called a convenience store.

Okay, so the mood ring is fun.  Some clever individual has resurrected the little trinket that had once reached its heyday sometime back in the 1970’s.  For one dollar and ninety-nine cents, I am now wearing one on my thumb.  Some things just happen, accidentally-on-purpose.

On my way out of the store, I pluck one of the little color-indicator cards from the top of a stack placed next to the display box.  For without this little device and its accompanying color-code chart, how could I possibly determine what type of “mood” I was in?!

Every human being is familiar with mood changes.  They are an unavoidable consequence of the human condition.  One redeeming quality of our ever-changing moods is that they can serve as an accurate indicator of our current vibrational frequency.  The way that we feel produces the corresponding vibrations that we signal to the Universe.  No matter how hard we try to direct our thoughts, the Universe remains most receptive to the vibrational quality of our emotions.

Of course, understanding the creative power of our moods is one thing, and exerting a reasonable degree of control over our emotions is another.  It is my experience that I cannot always help the way that I feel.

It would appear that acquiring a heightened awareness of the Law of Attraction can have a potentially strange effect when you’re in a ‘bad’ mood.  If knowledge is power, then I often found myself too concerned, even a little panicky, when I realized what my bad mood could be attracting into my experience.  Certainly, I was well aware that my frustration would only provoke more unwanted energy, but I did not know what the hell to do about it.

Jeez!

I will never master the ability to abruptly squelch the way that I feel.  Obviously, when my mood is low, my thoughts will reflect similar energetic patterns.  The trick is to relax, breath, and keep my perspective on the nature of being human.

Self-defeating thoughts and negative belief structures are bound to reveal themselves when I am in a “bad” mood.  Understanding that these perceptions are merely mood-related allows me to relieve the pressure of thinking that I have to actually do something about it.  A good witch would be wise to take a bad mood in stride, resist the tendency to take my corresponding thoughts too seriously, and treat the moment gracefully.  After all, ever-changing moods are only a temporary condition of the human experience.  Sometimes, just knowing that is all it takes to increase the vibrational frequency of a ‘bad’ one!

And just in case I ever forget how quickly my mood can change, I now have this ridiculous mood ring stuck on my thumb as a reminder:)

The business of being human can be so tedious.  Every morning I remind myself that I do not have to make it through another day.  I get to.

We can spend so much of our energy seeking a genuine connection between our physical self and our divine source, that it often becomes a life-long quest.  The path can seem murky, while other days it seems crystal clear.  It would seem that very few people are able to remain steadily in-tune with the divine, and those who do have no earthly idea how to describe this condition to the rest of us.

This is not for lack of trying.  They write books about it, sing about it, hold seminars on it, blog about it, and illustrate their connection to divine source through artwork, poetry, preaching, and life-example.  Most of us listen, read, and view their personal interpretations politely.

Meanwhile, we also tend to think of them as crazy.

This may be simply because there are no tactile representations in our human language that are adequately suited to the task of divine expression.  And why would there be?  We are so busy searching for our human connection to Divine Source, that we seem to be missing the whole point:

They are two separate entities.

Divine Source is eternal, timeless, and just is.  A physical being is earthly, bound by the laws of space and time, and able to experience the human condition.

Both of them are you.

When I am able to remember this distinct degree of separation, I am aware of my ridiculous human tendency to seek a connection between these entities, as if there were some question of its existence!

The human being got so wrapped up in her acquired belief systems, that she forgot (again!) the simple truth.  Divine Self smirks because she knows that she already is, and so marvels at the antics that little human puts herself through trying to find a connection that already exists.

If human-self would only remember that she is here to experience what her divine-self cannot, then she would realize that she gets to be on earth for another glorious day of living!  Believing that she is connected to a higher power is only an aspect of the human realm, while knowing that she is already divine eliminates the need for a constant search.  Well-being could not only be restored, but maintained consistently.  She could be full of appreciation for who she really is…Every single splendid minute of every single splendid day that she is here to create her human experience.

There.  See?  Now I sound like a crazy person, too.

When we are young, we readily absorb the words of our teachers.  Like little sponges, we soak up the lessons of those who we spend the majority of our time with.  Of course, parents will always have the first crack at a child’s earthly impressions, but it is often the instructions offered by our school teachers that can become equally influential.

Since I spent twelve of my school years with nuns, most of my initial impressions toward my earthly existence were based on their words.  I will never forget my mother’s mocking tone as she expressed her irritation with my apparent adoration for one of my elementary school teachers.

“Sister said, Sister said,” she repeated with some distaste.  “God forbid you do anything but what Sister said!”

Perhaps my mom felt her authority was a bit threatened by Sister Mary Something.  As a parent myself, I can appreciate the fleeting moments of concern that arise when permitting my young fledglings to absorb the opinions of another adult.

Just as it is my responsibility to show my children how to think for themselves, I trust that a teacher will provide the proper tools to assist my children how to learn.  Whenever a question arises, my first instinct is to certainly give a teacher the benefit of the doubt.

Considering that this individual completed a degree in education, has hands-on experience in a classroom, and chose this line of work as their profession deserves my utmost respect.  Regardless of the situation, this is always the point from which I approach an area of concern between my own kids and any teacher that has the privilege of holding their attention.

I only raise my eyebrows when it appears that a teacher has focused more on what to think than how…and even then I remain confident that my kids will know the difference.

My brother Lou always says that there is never a problem knowing where our girls are playing.  The exact location is easily detected by simply listening for the source of the screaming.

It is a fool-proof system, really.  Wherever our young female charges are gathered together, there are sure to be some high-pitched verbal cues within their vicinity.  As sure as the sun will rise every morning, we can rely on the signature screams of little girls at play.

Boys, on the other hand, tend to keep the sound level of their adventures more discreet.  Discerning their exact location is not always as readily obtainable, as it seems that they would prefer their activities to remain a mystery.

Not much changes once we grow up.

Most big boys are often as verbally deficient as big girls are expressive.  The pleasure of having married a big boy and raising a son offers an ongoing opportunity to acquire a minimal set of communication skills.  I had some fun writing about this topic in a post titled, “What Is That Smell?”

It would appear that a variation of ’screaming’ remains a common element of female energy, often rearing its abrasive characteristics throughout the many hormonal stages of maturity.  Female energy may indeed contain plenty of sugar, but it is the spice component that commands the most attention.  Many a poor and unfortunate soul have suffered the wrath of a woman scorned.

Undoubtedly fanning the hormonal flames of her early teenage years, we used to refer to Katarina as “Katie-Kaboom.”  After an initial attempt to playfully mention this nickname in her presence, we agreed to keep this description of Kat’s explosive behavior to ourselves.  It became a lot less stressful to just wink and nod to each other.  We preferred to huddle behind the bunkers every time Kat was in one of her heinous-bitch moods, since initiating some form of sane communication was futile.

I remember having to calculate the appropriate time to approach Kat.  I seized every opportunity to offer her guidance toward understanding her volatile moods, and made suggestions in order to deal with them.  Of course, she welcomed these conversations about as much as she liked going to the dentist.  When Durwood grew weary of her tirades, he decided to remove the hinges from her bedroom door one day while she was at school.

“Let her try and slam that damn door now,” he proclaimed.

This tactic may have delayed our progress toward understanding and compassion for teenage angst in the Bean household, but it did serve to improve Durwood’s position in the power struggle.

Natalie is sixteen now, and I am happy to report that her bedroom door remains on its hinges.  She definitely has her share of Katie-Kaboom moments, but the level of progress in the Bean domain appears to have advanced considerably.

With a compassionate smile and a nod of understanding, our twenty-two year old Kat will catch my attention during one of Natalie’s tempestuous outbursts.  With complete awareness, she will offer her most sincere condolences:

“For the love of god, Mom, I am sooo sorry…”

And may the female energy rage on:)

Detaching my emotions from the past had proven to be elusive.  In theory, I understood the logic behind refraining from looking over my shoulder if I no longer intended to travel there.  And yet, I am a creature of emotion who often struggled to quell the negative feelings I associated with my past experiences.

As a dear friend has recently observed, “I thought that I had taken all the necessary steps to heal my past, but the unsettling emotions that I experienced always seem to find a way to creep back in.”

I hear you, sister.

There are not any among us who have not experienced dark times.  Anyone can easily respond to moments of glory, but the real difficulty lies within our response to the times that kick our ass.  None of us would argue that we had to go through what we did in order to be who we are.  The fact that we are here today is glaring evidence.

It is only in the perception of our survival that we have the power to change.  We think that if we acknowledge our past, understand and honor the experience it provided, and acknowledge its passing, that the emotions we attached to it will be healed also.  There we go “thinking” again:)

What if I were to suggest that we simply view our past experience as we would any written story?  If you were reading a good book, or watching an intriguing movie, there is no question that you would allow your emotions to come forth as you relate to a character.  You read an excerpt that tweaks a deep emotion, watch a scene that makes you cry, or become enveloped in an act of a play that touches your heart.  And yet you remain an observer while you turn the page, pause the movie to make some popcorn, or order a glass of wine during intermission.

We apparently have the capacity to participate in a ’story’ using this sensitive technique.  Why not apply this skill while being a party to our own story?

After all of the therapy sessions, Reiki cleansing rituals, guided hypnosis tours, prayer, meditation, and support networking, I have found that treating my past as a ’spectator sport’ produces the most satisfying result.  This is not to discount any of the healing methods that I have partaken in prior to this discovery.  It may be, in fact, that these practices were actually instrumental in guiding me toward the elegantly simple procedure that I use to regard my past today.

As Candace would say, “We had to learn all that to know that it wasn’t that.”

“Letting go” of the past always sounds so easy in theory, but it is often so difficult to pull off in practice.  Our emotions are a powerful force.  Perhaps we should permit these historic feelings to remain just a chapter of a damn good book that we recall fondly.  Only then may we be able to move on and enjoy the present and future story of the character we love so dearly.

I never turn down an opportunity to watch the movie Moonstruck.  Among some of my favorite lines, I am particularly fond of the scene when Olympia Dukakis’ character asks an unsuspecting male why a man would cheat on his wife.  The answer is brilliant.

“I think it is because they fear death.”

Ah, such is the concern shared among mankind.  When thinking of death as a final ending, one can easily work themselves into a state of fear.  Perpetuating this fearful mindset is inevitable when one is not truly aware that they are in the process of choosing life.

Of course, this may sound as if I am stating the obvious.  But if we are not taking the time to practice conscious living, then the fear of death is certain to invade our thoughts.

Although many people have attempted to defy physical death, every human being on the planet has yet to avoid it.  In the time that we might spend worrying about the inevitable, we could be choosing the present business of living.

Without a conscious reminder that I am currently choosing to live, I could not enjoy the benefits of creating my own experience.  In this regard, I have adopted a few seemingly ridiculous tactics to recharge my precious awareness.

There are thousands of experts who can offer many avenues to attain a level of higher consciousness.  A practical witch prefers to hone her conscious awareness by simply isolating the senses.  Periodic ‘tuning’ provides an elegantly simple conduit between ourselves and the beautiful cycle of life.  (And it’s a hell of  a lot easier to practice than some complex mystical principle, too!)

We live in a world of constant external stimulation.  If you cancel out all distractions to concentrate on one of the five human senses, an undeniable connection to life soothes the sovereign spirit and instantly heightens conscious awareness.

How many times as a child did you close your eyes, plug your nose, hold your breath, and let your ears drop below the water level in the bathtub?  At first there was the strange sound of water settling around you.  Then you listened to the stillness, held your breath a little longer, and listened to the sound of your heartbeat thumping rhythmically within you.  Floating there a little longer prolonged this mesmerizing state of consciousness.

No one had to instruct you on the finer details of meditation, thought-clearing, or the principles of oneness with life.  You just did it.  It was really cool, so you lifted your head out of the water, took another breath, and did it again.

That’s it…just a simple reminder that you are simply connected to life itself.

When you deliberately close any of the five senses in order to isolate just one, you systematically fine-tune your awareness.  Adding this practice to your ‘bag of tricks’ enhances the business of choosing the life you are currently living.

…Now go have some fun in the bathtub:)