Don’t Tell Me What You Think

If I were to explore all the debilitating effects that an overdeveloped concern with ‘what other people think’ has on a person, I could write a book.

I’d rather not focus on the negative aspects that an obsession with outward perception can have on the ability to direct one’s own life.  But if there is a desire to improve your self-confidence, it is beneficial to first recognize certain language and behavior that may inhibit a belief that you are a capable and sovereign being, no matter what anyone else thinks.  If you can identify the unhealthy habits that suppress absolute trust in yourself, then it becomes easier to discover what may promote it.

There’s a big difference between taking into consideration the welfare and feelings of others before you proceed with any self-directed action versus taking into consideration the ‘opinions’ of others that your action may incite. Of course you should give serious thought to the possibility that any of your personal decisions and subsequent actions could have on others (including yourself) if they would cause harm or danger.  But where does awareness and concern for others morph into caring too much what other people think?  It seems crystal clear to me now, but there wasn’t an absolute distinction when I was growing up.

How often can you recall hearing the words, “what will people think?” at some point or another throughout your experience?  Many of us are familiar with the implication that there may be more concern with what the neighbors might say than concern for a family member’s feelings; as if how we appear to others might somehow be more important than addressing circumstances that may be causing uncomfortable issues within the home.

If you’ve been given life-long cues that exemplify this all-too-common philosophy, you may eventually adopt habitual behaviors to reflect the perception that you are constantly being assessed by others.  Once you begin basing your moves on the idea that you are being observed and judged by the rest of the world, you gradually relinquish your power to act alone.  You can feel as if you have no control over your own life or any of the circumstances you are experiencing.

It’s one thing to bounce an idea off a few trusted friends or to consult expert sources for advice.  When you find yourself habitually relying on the experience and opinions of others before determining what your own instincts are telling you first, or you tend to question your own decisions and always look to others for confirmation, you may have simply overloaded your intake valve with the thoughts of others.

“I don’t care what other people think”  is rendered ineffective in unclogging your direct line to your inner and Knowing Self.  Most likely this is because it doesn’t feel true.  It never worked for me because it sounded too damn arrogant.  It  FELT unbelievable, too.  Of course I care what other people think.

I’d like to share with you an affirmation that does work for me.  An affirmation is nothing more than a weaving of your own personal spell that when stated repeatedly can become your truth.  So the next time you feel yourself getting drawn away from your own instincts and feel overwhelmed with the thoughts of others, tell yourself this: “what people think of me is none of my business.”

More to come…

Tags: opinions of others, outward perception, self-confidence, sovereign being, what other people think