Even grown-ups need to separate themselves from the rest of the population now and then.  It may often be just the people in your own home that you require some separation from.  Who decided it was a punishment?!

“Time-out” is such a broad concept.  Parents and caretakers often use time-outs as a method in correcting a young child’s inappropriate behavior.  Grown-ups may find it to be an effective tactic to employ for themselves sometimes as well.

Time-outs are not exclusive to a form of punishment.  When we take a time-out for ourselves, the reasons can be similar to the ones we deem worthy to place a child in time-out.  When we are overworked, exhausted, overwhelmed with too much to do, or just stressed in general, it’s likely we’re no fun to be around either.  We may act crazy, scream obscenities, bang shit around, or at least be on the verge of feeling like we are about to.  In any case, we usually realize when it’s time to remove ourselves from any innocent bystanders and give ourselves a moment to shut down, regroup, take ten, or do something that gets us alone and away from others.  In times like this, we more or less ‘parent’ ourselves.

I try not to refer to a time-out for Caroline as a punishment.  I prefer to think of it as an isolation technique, much like Kat uses with the horses.  On occasion, horses (and kids) will do things that are unacceptable, in which case a correction is necessary.  Uncooperative ponies (and kids) who act out with inappropriate behavior need to be separated from the herd as a consequence.

I do not expect Caroline to sit in time-out and “think about what she’s done.”  She is two years old.  What I do want her to have is some time to understand that there are certain behaviors that place her out of the realm of human interaction.  If she is going to contort her arms and kick her legs when it is time to get her pajamas on, or the pony is going to dance around and toss his head when it is time to get his halter on for turn-out, then we are all going to have to take a time-out.  Alabama Pony can go back in his stall and Caroline can sit safely in a chair without any toys while Aunt Jillian resumes an enticingly fun and exciting life without either of them in the picture.  They will be welcome to join me when the pony ears are no longer flattened and the toddler legs have calmed down.

Horses take just a little longer before they decide they want to join their herd again.  With young children, a good witch’s rule of thumb is that time-outs last no longer than a minute per year of the child’s age.

That means that when I can’t behave appropriately around other species of my herd, I’ll need to put myself in time-out for about 49 minutes.  Or more.

Tags: child rearing, time out as punishment