Surprise endings are great if I am reading an intriguing mystery novel or watching a suspenseful movie.  In real life, I would prefer that my surprises occur within the context of any possible circumstances of my story and not in the actual outcome itself.

True magic lies within the unfolding of a story.  It is only a clear and unwavering intention toward a desired outcome that is provided by you.  As long as your focus remains exclusively on the ‘happy ending’ that you envision, you can relax and enjoy the process that gets you there.

For those of us who may cling to an admiration toward perfectionism, the ability to ‘let go’ of our perceived control over the details in our story may be the most difficult aspect of ourselves that we have to overcome.  We are intellectual beings who are quite capable of comprehending the concept of a magical process.  We understand that one must relinquish control over every minor circumstance in our daily lives if we are to allow the Divine flow to lead us to our goals.  It is only in the practical application that we may often find ourselves lacking.

Do not despair.  As a recovering detail-oriented perfectionist myself, I understand the reluctance  to let go of all of the perceived formulas for success that you have learned.  With so many experts providing us with their theories on the formula for success, it becomes harder to remember what it feels like to TRUST that the real ’secret formula’ already resides within you.  This Divine plan is yours alone.  It contains all of the cleverly arranged circumstances and surprise developments necessary to bring about any outcome that you desire.  All that is required is that you trust your Knowing Self to deliver it.

Divine plans unfold like magic when you learn to get out of the way.  If I ever needed a practical example to illustrate the simplicity of trusting in the process, I am grateful to have been provided one on Christmas Day.

Our family gatherings include a mixed lot of relatives who are capable of displaying any given attribute among the full range of personality disorders, hidden agendas, heightened emotions or inappropriate chatter at a moment’s notice.  We helped to write the book on dysfunctional families.

With the potential for awkward and uncomfortable occasions always on the horizon, I have spent many holiday gatherings of the past attempting to diffuse or prevent offensive episodes.   I would constantly monitor every ongoing conversation that I could and distract any guilty parties by inventing totally unnecessary tasks to occupy their attention.  What a pain.

The only alternatives to these stressful occasions were to quit hosting holiday dinners at our house and let someone else do it (which never really worked since I would end up in the same role again, only in one of my sister’s homes) or stop celebrating holidays with relatives altogether (which did not work for us, either, as it removed the whole ‘holiday spirit’ aspect from the season itself).

Here is how ‘witch works best’ now:  I have to let go of all of the ways that I ‘think’ I will be able to keep Mother Bean out of Durwood’s kitchen, distract my own mother from making condescending remarks, entertain the little ones before they irritate Grandpa, and all the other five million tactics that control-freak Jillian would stress over in the past.  My only work now is to take some time before everyone arrives to focus solely on the desired outcome.  I envision the ‘happy ending’ in which every single one of us enjoy the day together, and I trust in the process that will deliver it.

This year I am happy to report that it worked like a charm.

Although I know better than to try take responsibility for every little irritating circumstance, old habits still persist.  I let myself get a little edgy after breakfast on Christmas morning.  This was due in part to the fact that Mother Bean and her high-maintenance dog had been here for over twenty-four hours already.  It became obvious to me that my resiliency had thinned.  I felt that some solitary time might help me to re-focus on my intention for an enjoyable day, so I excused myself to run a phantom errand before noon.  I figured that I would have more than enough time before the majority of our other guests arrived to sneak out for an extra pack of cigarettes that I did not need.  That was when Divine’s magic plan kicked in.

Unforeseen circumstances along my route to the nearest convenience store kept me away from the house much longer that any normal errand should have.  (Surprise!)  By the time I had returned, our driveway was full of cars.  Guests mingled on the crowded front porch and seemed to be spilling down the front steps on to the walkway.  There were clinking sounds as wine bottles touched glass rims, while much laughter and lively conversation filled the air surrounding our house.  It occurred to me how odd it was that everyone was still outside, until I noticed that the front door was wide open and a hazy cloud of smoke was emanating from inside the house.

“Merry Christmas, Jill!” someone shouted from within the crowd.  I felt a bewildered and pleasant smile spread across my face. Several jovial faces turned in my direction and all wine glasses raised in unison.  I was enjoying this day already.

Nothing brings a family together like a front porch toast and a roaring oven fire that sets off every single smoke detector in the house.

I could not have planned that one if I tried.

Tags: detail oriented, divine plan, dysfunctional family, formula for success, magical process, perfectionism, true magic, trust yourself