Giving Up Without Quitting
In a virtual battle for control over my life, I am my own most formidable opponent. It is a classic struggle between my conscious mind and my heart’s desire.
The mind is quite capable of acknowledging that there is an All-Knowing and powerful force that exists within each of us, and yet it will constantly prompt us to make ’sense’ of this Divine Self before freely allowing us to run the show that is our life. The conscious mind, by its very nature, insists that we engage in a relentless campaign to discern some ‘meaning’ in life. Operating within its logical framework, we are convinced that we must seek some comprehension of this Divine power before we can entrust it with the course of our life. Our rational mind would have us believe that we cannot possibly experience that which cannot be understood; for what cannot be understood cannot be trusted.
It is quite the dirty little trick. Your own mind convinces you to pursue a noble cause in seeking to define the purpose of Divine Spirit. You embark upon a bold and honorable quest to make sense of it all. You cannot possibly fathom the notion of giving up. Ironically, you see yourself in a worthy fight for your life. It becomes a brave battle. It is one that you will fight to the death (as many often do).
Your own clever mind has persuaded you to think that you cannot put your unconditional trust in the power of Divine Self until you are sure that it knows what it is doing. Before you will allow it to rule your life, Spiritual Self must be assigned some deep and meaningful understanding. Otherwise, you would have to be out of your mind!
Meanwhile, Divine Self (with access to the Universe and its infinite power to serve you) lies patiently waiting within. It continues to hold the perfect vibrational tone of all that you have asked for (and more), while you are busy seeking a rational truth that cannot be defined. Your own magic has been relegated to a place behind an expertly fashioned curtain of logic that you cannot seem to draw open, no matter how hard you try.
What is a human to do? Being of sound mind and body, many of us will continue to struggle for the meaning of All-That-Is. We will seek to discover a solution to a paradoxical circumstance in which there is no rational explanation. With absolute resolve, we feel driven to pursue our mind’s relentless agenda. We think that once we are able to figure it out, we will be worthy enough to reveal the secret powers that lie behind the curtain.
Another alternative for those of sound mind and body would be to just wait until physical death. At that point, we will finally realize what a major pain in the ass our mind’s belief system has been. We will at last be able to proclaim, “What a relief! If only I could have released my ego sooner!” I often wonder how many of us will be pissed when we find out how we made such a simple thing so difficult.
There is a third choice. Instead of struggling through life to discover the answers , or waiting to die in order to reveal its Divine secrets, we could just surrender. We could release the conscious mind from its perceived obligation to understand That-Which-Cannot-Be-Understood.
Many physical beings would adequately describe this event as a leap of faith. For me, this implies that there is something that I have to do, some method that I once again need to understand before I can draw open the curtain and experience the power of Divine Self. Suddenly, I am right back in the logical arena of the mind again. It can be so irritating!
Perhaps the best way to think of it (while you are trying not to think of it) is to relate to what it feels like when you hire another person to render a service. This particular service is perhaps something that you are either not qualified to perform on your own, or something that you simply do not have adequate time to complete yourself. Pick anything. Your example will be much more appropriate than whatever I would suggest. The purpose of this exercise is to feel the vibrational tone of something that you can relate to specifically. It could be anything from hiring a contractor for a complete home renovation, to getting a haircut, or a pedicure.
Now imagine that the service you have requested is in progress. In any given scenario, you have most likely indicated what you want, and may even have chosen specific colors or features in your order. (This is exactly what you are doing every day in your life when you express your desires to Divine Self, still poised behind the curtain of your mind, ready and able to orchestrate the manifestation of your request from the Universe.)
Meanwhile, as you are getting your toes polished, watching your new closet shelves being installed, or just being ‘aware’ of whatever service is being rendered per your request, what are you and your conscious self doing? Are you standing over your hired professional’s shoulder trying to figure things out? Is there some ‘divine secret’ in the work being done that you simply must understand? Do you question why they are doing this, how are they going to fit in that, when are they going to do the other….? Or do you just go about with your own business because you TRUST that they know how to conduct theirs?
Surrendering the ego of our conscious mind is not as difficult as ‘it’ would have you believe. When all else fails, you can always disarm it with distraction and sneak behind the curtain just long enough to give Divine Self some love. Once you make a connection with Source, however fleeting or temporary it may be, All-That-Is tends to hold the curtain open for you when the conscious mind least expects it.
Much like that professional that you hired, Divine knows how to do its job.
