The Good Catholic Girl’s Guide To Becoming Arrogant
There comes a time when we can no longer blame (or attribute) the course of our life to any other human being but ourselves. If we take full responsibility for all of our decisions and their consequences, we realize that our actual experiences are chosen by us.
The one aspect that we do have control over is how we deal with all of our circumstances. When our approach no longer serves us, we find ourselves unhappy. Only we can make the decision to change. Your resolve is a powerful force that will lead you to the Divine All-Knowing Self that resides within you. There are infinite ways that you can reconnect and remember Who You Are. If a good Catholic girl can ’seek and ye shall find,’ I know that you will, also. Your schedule is timely and true.
Should you wish to follow the fifty-year plan, here is a twelve-step program that I would not highly recommend…but does seem to have worked for me, nonetheless:
Step 1: Wait until you are at least thirty-four years old before you realize that there may be something inherently wrong with approaching most things in your life based on the opinions and ideas of others.
Step 2: Spend the next twelve months in therapy before you decide to mention to your best friend (in casual conversation) that you were introduced and exposed to inappropriate sexual behavior as an adolescent by a family member that you looked up to. Tucking away this kind of information for over twenty years, and then having your wide-eyed best friend be the first one to hear it, really enhances the whole process. Then have her encourage you to tell your therapist, but be sure to wait at least another six weeks or so before you work up the courage to tell a few members of your family.
Step 3 (This is the fun part): Stay in counseling for at least the next five years while some of the people who loved and raised you treat you as a lying, possibly brainwashed, neurotic stranger. Be prepared to continue being the subject of criticism for the majority of your family members.
Step 4: Spend at least twelve years studying a minimum of twelve different religious philosophies before you discover a common thread that you can relate to.
Step 5: Read every single self-help book available to mankind until you realize that you have been in the process of composing your own story the entire time.
Step 6: Wake up one day and make a decision to stop talking about how you would like to share your experience and revelations with others. Start writing about it instead.
Step 7: Call your niece (who is a technical genius in all things website-related) and ask her to provide you with your own forum to share your writing.
Step 8: Post articles on your own website as often as you are inspired to express your musings concerning the unlimited aspects of life on this beautiful, magic-filled planet.
Step 9: Upon waking each and every morning, be overwhelmed with gratitude for discovering that you have a mind of your own.
Step 10: Comprehend the notion that arrogance, particularly when perceived in the context of self-worth, is not a sin. It is an individual freedom that perhaps some well-intentioned priest, nun, or religious teacher may have neglected to tell you.
Step 11: Lighten-up in all things, remember to laugh as often as you can, and do not take yourself too seriously.
Step 12: Enjoy your birthright.
This one’s for you, Lena. You have your whole beautiful life ahead of you and I commend you on your early start. Love you, baby.
