It’s Never Too Late To Teach An Old Dog New Tricks
Meet Brutus. Brutus is over 12 years old, which makes him about the same age (in human years) as my dad. Set in their ways, and fiercely loyal to their routines, both dog and man have zero tolerance for disruption in their lives.
My dad is very firm regarding his basic requirements. For example, he would become very disgruntled should my mother, my sister, or anyone else have the audacity to schedule an appointment that may interfere with his morning nap. My mom and Mary Jo may roll their eyes, but for the sake of all vested parties, both of them adhere to the known guidelines regarding Dad’s routine.
The dog has a self-centered and structured agenda, as well. Every night at exactly 9 o’clock, Brutus stands at the foot of our bed and demands (with a series of short, irritating yelps) to be lifted onto the bed so that he may retire for the evening. Most of us groan, but one of us will eventually comply with his incessant bidding, since none of us can withstand that unnerving bark of his for any length of time. His bark oddly resembles Dad’s grumble when he is five minutes past his lunch time.
Dog and man are both content in their established routines. They have no desire to change, and do not have any misgivings toward expressing a steadfast devotion toward their fixed agendas. Anyone who would suggest otherwise can expect a fair amount of resistance (as in grumpiness). I believe that Dad and Brutus are entitled.
As physical residents of the planet, we are often creatures of habit. Most of us become comfortable with what we know ‘works’ for us. Like my two favorite old guys, we are certainly entitled to continue operating within our own familiar realm when we are content with our lives. It is only when we are not satisfied with our current experiences that we may consider approaching unfamiliar territory.
When I was completing an internship for addictions counseling, there was a popular credence toward the significance of “comfort zones.” Encouraging clients to step out of their familiar territory was considered an essential aspect in recovery from addictive behavior. There were so many workshops and case study sessions dedicated to the thousands of possible applications to “comfort zone” scenarios that the idea itself became superfluous. C’mon. What is addictive behavior if not one big comfort zone in the first place?
Addictions aside, any desire to transform your current life experience will require some measure of venturing forth into unfamiliar realms. Fortunately, we have the benefit of time, which allows us to ease into our self-expansion at a manageable pace.
Challenging ourselves to step out of our usual patterns of behavior, even in small increments, will initiate the process of change. Making the phone call that you have been putting off forever, holding your tongue from the usual terse remark, speaking from the heart instead of remaining silent, saying hello to that person you usually ignore, or even something as simple as taking a new route to work one morning could qualify as steps into the unfamiliar.
Personal efforts such as these will foster the opportunity for a wider perspective of your environment. With each and every attempt to alter habitual patterns, the Universe will respond in kind. Clarity increases and you will begin to observe things that you ordinarily may not have noticed before.
As is typical among any support system, I gleaned more wisdom regarding the process of change from fellow addicts than I ever did in studying effective ways to treat us. Genuine clarity from someone who deliberately steps out of their comfort zone on a daily basis can offer fellow beings the most insightful and concise anecdotes. I fondly recall one colleague’s astute observation that entrenched patterns of behavior are much like a speeding train. When the decision is made to change course, it takes some time to adequately decrease the speed of the train in order to completely alter the direction that it has been traveling. Recovering addicts appropriately refer to this process as the “one day at a time” approach.
We are the conductors of our speeding trains. Unless, of course, you are like my two favorite old guys, who are perfectly content with the direction in which their trains are traveling, it is inspiring to know that our own train can be redirected, expanded, and eventually gain maximum forward motion when given the proper time and attention from us. Just a few simple steps out of our comfort zone, when repeated over time, can eventually turn a speeding train around.
I think that I will make that phone call tonight after Brutus goes to bed:)
I could hardly read this as I laughed outloud because of the picture of your little dog. The memories that suround me with the little guy overtook my ability to read. Geez, I am going to give it one more try.
“With each and every attempt to alter habitual patterns, the Universe will respond in kind. Clarity increases and you will begin to observe things that you ordinarily may not have noticed before.”
I’m 42 and just learning to speak up and stand up for myself, after years of allowing people to walk all over me. Talk about a challenge and being out of my comfort zone! But, I’m demanding respect, saying what’s on my mind instead of staying quiet, and getting the results I deserve! Imagine that! It’s a great feeling.