Casual Observer
Detaching my emotions from the past had proven to be elusive. In theory, I understood the logic behind refraining from looking over my shoulder if I no longer intended to travel there. And yet, I am a creature of emotion who often struggled to quell the negative feelings I associated with my past experiences.
As a dear friend has recently observed, “I thought that I had taken all the necessary steps to heal my past, but the unsettling emotions that I experienced always seem to find a way to creep back in.”
I hear you, sister.
There are not any among us who have not experienced dark times. Anyone can easily respond to moments of glory, but the real difficulty lies within our response to the times that kick our ass. None of us would argue that we had to go through what we did in order to be who we are. The fact that we are here today is glaring evidence.
It is only in the perception of our survival that we have the power to change. We think that if we acknowledge our past, understand and honor the experience it provided, and acknowledge its passing, that the emotions we attached to it will be healed also. There we go “thinking” again:)
What if I were to suggest that we simply view our past experience as we would any written story? If you were reading a good book, or watching an intriguing movie, there is no question that you would allow your emotions to come forth as you relate to a character. You read an excerpt that tweaks a deep emotion, watch a scene that makes you cry, or become enveloped in an act of a play that touches your heart. And yet you remain an observer while you turn the page, pause the movie to make some popcorn, or order a glass of wine during intermission.
We apparently have the capacity to participate in a ’story’ using this sensitive technique. Why not apply this skill while being a party to our own story?
After all of the therapy sessions, Reiki cleansing rituals, guided hypnosis tours, prayer, meditation, and support networking, I have found that treating my past as a ’spectator sport’ produces the most satisfying result. This is not to discount any of the healing methods that I have partaken in prior to this discovery. It may be, in fact, that these practices were actually instrumental in guiding me toward the elegantly simple procedure that I use to regard my past today.
As Candace would say, “We had to learn all that to know that it wasn’t that.”
“Letting go” of the past always sounds so easy in theory, but it is often so difficult to pull off in practice. Our emotions are a powerful force. Perhaps we should permit these historic feelings to remain just a chapter of a damn good book that we recall fondly. Only then may we be able to move on and enjoy the present and future story of the character we love so dearly.
