People Person
Unless it is my idea, I find that I am no longer a fan of impromptu and spontaneous social gatherings. On the other hand, I am not particularly fond of planned affairs, either. I wasn’t always like this. I still like people, and I cherish good company. Perhaps it is just the ‘treacherous’ factor that kicks in with age, but it seems that I have become rather particular about the quality of time that I spend with others.
I wouldn’t describe my behavior as anti-social. If you read Coffee and Comfort, you might know that it is impossible for me to refrain from social interaction, particularly when I am in the public realm. I like people. I just don’t see myself having a cup of coffee with the guy who sold me a can of paint at Lowe’s any time soon.
I think that I was almost forty years old before I gave myself permission to not answer the phone every time that it rang. This liberating notion led to the discovery that I did not have to respond to every single inquiry that was made of me, either. Interrogating remarks, threatening forecasts, and demanding innuendos that were left on my voice mail (even when delivered under the guise humor) became the basis upon which I made my decision to return a call. Naturally, this seemed to be a popular development with certain members of my extended family, and a few acquaintances, as well.
“What is wrong with you, Jill?! You never answer your phone! What are you so busy doing that you can never call me?!”
Yeah. Those are the phone calls that you just cannot wait to return.
I reevaluated the significance of my relationships to focus on the depth and quality of a mutual exchange. My criteria was simple. Unless there was a life was in peril, I would return phone calls of a social nature when I wanted to.
What a novel idea! Choosing to visit with people because I wanted to enjoy their company, as opposed to carrying out a perceived obligation that I should, had opened a whole new operating system for me. Old friends, new friends, and soon-to-be-discovered friends could now flow freely in and out of my experience. Once I decided that mutually beneficial exchanges will comprise the majority of my interactions, the quality and timing of all social engagements seemed to fall into place naturally.
(Almost as if it were magic!)
So, what is wrong with Jill? I suppose it now depends on whom you ask…:)
I believe this also occurs when we start feeling more comfortable in our own skin. I have experienced this myself in the last few years and it was after I realized that I have given and given of myself constantly and always put myself last. To me that is a given when you have children because they should come first. Honestly though I think that at some point we all have to realize that we are all responsible for our own happiness in this life and not for everyone else’s happiness as well. We can take care of our children when they are small and do every little thing for them but I finally realize that I can’t follow them around for the rest of their life and make sure they are happy. I can only offer what I think , are comforting words of advice. What’s really funny is that change showed itself coming four years ago in my very first aura reading that I did not understand at the time. But I must say she was right about coming into a softer, more subtle side of life. Where the living is good and you don’t feel like you are on the hot seat all the time. It is still in the works but I don’t answer the phone either unless I want to! I also pick and choose where I go and who I spend my time with. You can never please and do for everyone. If you don’t choose this method of living, eventually you might as well pack your earth bags and get ready to fly.
I believe this is our right of passage for becoming a strong self reliant woman. I love to screen my calls, and sometimes the cashier at the store. Now that I think about it, I screen most everyone I come in contact with. It’s amazing to beable to have this control and not feel quilty.
Now this, I can relate to.
So, you know how there’s ‘categories’ of social attitude? such as ‘anti-social’ or the opposite being ’social butterfly’ does one have to classify themselves in one of these categories? What if you don’t fit into a mold??! I certainly don’t consider myself members of either of those genres. I can tell you that I prefer to be alone. Always. There are those who rely on company to be content. Not meee! I rely on solitariness for my own sanity. I love people, don’t get me wrong here. I do enjoy a good hangout, I’m just saying, I’m definitely not a person who needs someone with me all the time. In my past experiences, learned from spending most of my time around a particular person, it actually effects my morale. Then again, it depends on the person. Funny, that =P