Smellin’ the Flowers
The long summer days stretch before me as I marvel at this precious ‘down’ time.
Durwood’s current project keeps him away from the house for days at a time, and the kids are busy, too. Either away at camp, working diligently at their summer jobs, or house-sitting for friends, the tell-tale signs of their presence are unusually scarce. They have left me alone in the house for unprecedented amounts of time and I am loving it!
When the kids were much younger, summers were filled with beach days, hiking trips, and camping adventures. As memorable as these family outings were, I always felt as if I needed a vacation after the vacation. Most of my young parenting days are still a blur because I spent the majority of this time telling myself that I could sleep when I die.
Now that the kids are (mostly) grown, my need for sleep is considerably less desperate. Luxurious occasions to be temporarily unneeded are no longer occupied with the ‘death’ naps of yore. At last, I am savoring the thrill of full consciousness when I am home alone!
A younger version of Jillian would have used this precious time to implement a maniacal plan to conquer some ridiculous list of chores and projects. The idea of embracing an opportunity to seek inner peace was just a vague concept reserved for hippies.
It took me about 50 years to get over that.
When I can just be here, without having to do something that even remotely affects one or more of the people I live for, er…I mean live with, then I know that I have truly arrived in my moment. There is not a thing I need to do for anyone else, including myself. The laundry, the dirty toilets, the craft projects, and even the books I thought that I might need to read are cleared from my thoughts. I am still.
I smile as I fondly recall the story of Ferdinand the Bull. While all the other bulls are running around snorting and jumping (so that people would think that they were fierce and worthy), our friend Ferdinand did not care in the least. He went out to his favorite cork tree to sit down and just smell the flowers.
This was one of Durwood’s favorite stories to read to the young Beans. It is a message that resonates now, more than ever, as I allow myself to just sit quietly. For it is only within these gaps of silence that I am at last able to recognize a connection to my source. My only purpose is to be still, listen to the silence, and become one with the peacefulness of All-That-Is.
Had I taken the time to merge with this silence much earlier in life, I could have been enjoying this so much sooner! Ah, but then I remember that it is all part of my grand plan to know the one omnipresent presence within, rather than just know of it.
Ferdinand obviously began seeking his conscious connection with Divine Source before all the other bulls had a clue. I suppose that any time in life is appropriate to remember Who You Are, disregard all other descriptions of the divine, and seek your own personal knowing.
Man, you guys should leave the house more often.
As for Ferdinand, “For all I know he is sitting there still, under his favorite cork tree, smelling the flowers just quietly.”
“Ferdinand” brought memories to my mind and tears to my eyes. I think we all have a copy of it. Thanks!
Sometimes in life we get way too busy and forget to smell the flowers when smelling the flowers is what are soul needs the most!
Right you are, Mother! Even when I have barely any time to make “alone time” for myself, I find some way! Even if it is just 10 minutes in the shower, it is well worth it.