Should you dismiss that vaguely familiar shitty feeling once again, your role in this recurring drama is destined to continue indefinitely.
Hold still for a moment.
Take an objective view of the scenario that you have found yourself drawn into.
Ah, there it is. Now you see it.
It is painfully obvious that once again you are the
While everyone else has abandoned the one who is in constant need.
Positioning yourself for sainthood, are you? :)
And yet if this behavior is so noble, why do you experience a feeling of doom whenever this one particular name appears on your caller i.d.?
I’ll tell you why.
It is because without even having to retrieve the message, you already know that it will contain yet another desperate plea for salvation from her perpetual hell.
You realize that you are ultimately unable to save her from a world that she has deemed unjust, but you have dutifully continued in your attempt to assuage her hopeless saga. You provide comfort when there is no one else she can turn to, compassion when there is no one else who can understand her struggle, and assurance when there is no one else remaining to answer her cry for help.
When did that stop feeling rewarding for you?
When did that start to feel shitty?
Was it last week? Last month? Last year? Or was it during one of the several million times before this when you answered her call to no avail?
And now here you are.
There has been no change in her dire circumstances. There has been no change in her perception of the world. There has been no change in her inclination to drain the energy from the resources of your open heart.
I commend you on your willingness to recognize the unsettling sense of futility you experience every time you answer her call. Fearless inventory of your emotional response is a testament to the decision to be true to yourself. When it comes to a chronic friend-in-need, ‘tough love’ may be a theory that offers self-preservation for a so-called savior; and yet the practice of said theory can be heart-wrenching. When you are conflicted with your obligation as a dutiful friend, only you can determine the best course that will provide inner peace throughout your continued expansion.
Congratulations, sister. To walk away is often the simplest way to say “I love you.”