Death By Cards

Quite unexpectedly, Jillian’s luck had taken a winning turn.  Cautionary optimism had been abruptly replaced with unshakable certainty, and she would never again view her life the same.

She blamed solitaire.

Until recently, it was the one card game she had expressly passed off as a waste of time.

“Surely there are better things to do,” she concluded.

Staring off into space would be a far more acceptable choice to spend one’s idle time.  Perhaps it was this opinion that shadowed her sudden curiosity in playing the game herself.

Working on her laptop one hot afternoon, she found herself void of any interest in writing. Endless themes raced through her mind, yet not one was worthy of words.  “Writer’s block” is often misinterpreted as “I don’t give a shit.”

No one else was home.  Not one human being in sight could offer any reason for the manner in which she peered around apprehensively immediately after witnessing her very first hand of solitaire spill out onto the screen.

Five thousand winning hands later, she would appreciate not mentioning how she has been spending the majority of her time away from her blog:)


Look What I Can Do


Forgetting Jillian


  1. Noelle

    Well I’ll be.
    I honestly thought my obsession with Solitaire was uncommon and weird, more specifically spider solitaire.

    Good, I’m glad to know that someone else has spent hours of life trying to uncover aces.

    On a side note, I think about you often and I miss you. And our chats. Your suggestions to my problems, big or small, kept me in line and allowed me to clear my conscience to make proper decisions. Not that I can’t do those things on my own, it was just nice to get such a different outlook on life.

    So, I miss that.

    Love, Noelle <3

  2. Jillian Bean

    Ah, my sweet little maple leaf! I just spent this past weekend temporarily closing the distance between us, blowing you kisses from across the Great Lake O through my frozen lips:)

    In my heart you are forever close. I watch the little yellow warblers flit around the front yard daily, and I think of you. Lately they have been flying in front of me during a run. I think of you again. I miss the sound of you slipping down the stairs. Whistling while you pee. And the way you never failed to surprise me with your impressive ninja skills.

    It warms me from head to toe that our conversations empowered your beautiful self. I reaped endless benefits as well, your young and fresh heart serving as a constant reminder that all things are possible.

    Two (out of a billion) favorite Noelle quotes:

    “Chowing down an entire carton of blueberries is still better than eating a candy bar.”


    “I’m just gonna let it happen.”

    Thank you for those words of wisdom, darling.

    Also, I’ll be checking out spider solitaire directly:)

    Love, your other momma

  3. Suzie Case

    Oh Jillian, not sure why I have avoided your blog for so long, however today I decided it was time to catch up and beholdthere was your message speaking right to me. I appreciate how we as “(b) Witches can detach from the negativity and perception of others while we keep ourselves grounded with our own beliefs. Strong will and self security grow with in me daily and I refuse to allow another persons perception of myself define who I am as person, spiritually and physically. I will continue to jump in a puddle of water just because. I will drink wine for breakfast if I want (it is grapes ya know) I will dance in my house and sing as loud as I want in the car while other pass by and shake their heads. Thank you for telepathically telling me to READ your BLOG today. It spoke to me and at the right moment that I needed it! I love ya girl!

  4. Jillian Bean

    Never a coinky-dink when we decide to pick up a book, read a blog, or stop to admire the hand-made beaded spider hanging from the bathroom mirror:)…little reminders that aren’t so little, pieces of our experience that matter most. I love the certainty of these ever-present expressions. Acknowledging these fleeting moments nurtures our strength to carry on…I needed that, too! Miss you, Suzie girl. And love you even more xoxo

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