Tag: life experience

Look What I Can Do

“How old am I?”

I pause within a sudden urge to skip, refraining from the possibility of looking like an idiot in heels.  This is only because I am keenly aware that people will see me.

Sadly, the fleeting moment of spontaneous expression has evaporated.  The mere thought that another human might witness my childish behavior has effectively sucked the life right out of any impromptu display of joy.  I’m a grown-up.  I’ve been socialized.  I decide upon an appropriate smirk and a short hop in my stride, instead.

It’s a trivial consideration, really.  Entertaining a brief notion that another human being might observe my behavior, and formulate an opinion toward it, had introduced just enough doubt to stop me from skipping in public.  The content of their perceived opinion is irrelevant.  It’s only that I considered their feedback at all, however briefly, that had effectively thwarted my stride.

So why should I care what anyone thinks?

I know all the “healthy” answers to that:

“What other people think is none of my business”

“Personal power is significantly diluted when the perception of others is considered”

“Secondary opinions undermine primary creative control”

Blah, blah…

Any witch seeking to orchestrate the circumstances of her life experience knows this crap.  She studied it.  It is an intellectually sound concept that reveals the truth in her innate ability to create the life she desires, effectively defining the absolute power of  sovereignty.

If I know all this, why on earth would I still practice caring about the opinions of others?  I wondered that, too.  I wondered about it so much that I dissected the pesky habit right down to the underlying source.

The truth is that positive feedback from a fellow human being feels good.  Why wouldn’t it?  It’s satisfying to be recognized with a compliment.  This is a good thing, right?!

Of course it is!…Until I inadvertently allowed the satisfaction of praise to mess with my self-worth.

I thought about this in ‘big picture’ view.  Sometimes stepping back to simply observe the dynamics of my interaction with the rest of the planet facilitates a neutral understanding.  When I eliminate any judgment, remove the emotional factor, and view the way I respond to others as if I were just a character in a story, then any elements of discord can be recognized pretty quickly.

I clearly discovered the glitch.  Associating that ‘good feeling’ I had whenever someone recognized my behavior with a compliment, especially when I was young, is what has served to program my internal operating system.  Seriously.  Credit the power of socialization, my ignorance, or the child-like willingness to please, but I had allowed the positive feedback of others to literally train my self-perception into a habitual pattern of seeking approval from others.  I woke up one fine day to realize that the manner in which others respond to my behavior had seemingly become more significant than any opinion I may have had of myself…that is, if I could even remember having an opinion of myself that was not in some way influenced by the feedback of someone else.

Good god.  What have I done?!?

Well, this is easy now.  No need to get emotional once the big picture is clear.

The ‘girl in the story’ feels good.  She feels really, really good every time that she is recognized with a compliment.  On the other hand, she has learned that responding to criticism interferes with her personal agenda, so she’ll just have to ignore any feedback that feels bad.

And there it is.

I can’t have it both ways.  I reclaimed creative control over my life experience the moment I decided to devalue outward perceptions across the board.  Just as I declare my independence from the scrutiny of others, so too must I detach my vested interest from the positive recognition offered by my fellow human beings.

Some feel good, some feel not so good.  Neither can affect my behavior.

Accepting criticism as gracefully as a compliment is easy when neither is attached to the expectations I hold of myself.  Whether we deem the opinions of others as praiseworthy or critical bears little consequence on the power within each and every one of us to create our own happiness.

Put on those high heels and skip your heart out, bitches! (…Er, witches)

Commander Who

Who the hell is in charge here?

I am.  You are.

At least, we are supposed to be.  If only we could accept this truth without those pesky human belief systems, we might reclaim our birthright to consistently call the shots.

Any well-trained and clever witch would remember that it is she who sets the tone for her life experience.  She would naturally develop her thought patterns to reflect this truth.  She would fashion her intentions and behavior accordingly, knowing that it is she who ultimately holds the power to determine each and every outcome within her life experience.

And yet does she believe it?

Ah.

That, my friend, is the one question in which we share our skepticism toward whether or not creative control is truly in our hands.

Well, welcome to earth.

It is here where we are systematically conditioned to believe that there is, and always will be, a force that is greater than ourselves who decides our fate.

With six billion residents occupying our physical plane of existence, it certainly makes sense that any one individual would seem an insignificant speck in an endless sea of influence.  Common sense suggests that no matter what we do, there will always remain a power greater than ourselves that is in control.

Acts of God, ploys of Satan, and popular terms such as “fate” and “destiny” are used to explain circumstances over which we appear to have no control.  Eventually, this stuff sounds pretty damn good.  When in doubt, we need only to look upon the wisdom displayed on our bumper stickers.

“Shit happens.”

..And in the grand scheme of things, it appears that shit would occur regularly.

What is a witch to do?

She could admit that shirking full responsibility for every shitty circumstance in her life has been rather convenient.  Why take full ownership of your life experience when it is socially acceptable to pass the buck to a supreme being?

It is only when she no longer wants to believe that her destiny is determined by a power greater than herself that she can begin to recover her birthright to creative control.  A conscious decision of this magnitude may be determined immediately, and yet a genuine belief in one’s sovereignty is a process subject to one’s acquired level of human resistance.  Ingrained traditions based on thousands of years of religious explanation are some mighty tough nuts to crack.

There may be infinite ways to position a firm grip on the nutcracker, but none so intriguing as the ability to question authority.  After what may feel like a lifetime of assigning responsibility to a higher power, the process of reclaiming creative control over one’s destiny may begin with a simple inquiry.

Of course, it defeats the purpose to acknowledge one’s sovereignty by engaging in conversation with a perceived superior entity.  But if “I am God, also,” then a familiar little exchange between myself and myself would be perfectly sane:)

Besides, should a witch be so inclined to initiate an effective transfer of power, posing a relevant question to Oneself may hasten the unraveling process of a tightly-wound belief.

She may start with something general, such as, “What is it, Oh-Great-One, that you have in store for me as my greatest good?”

In which case, she might clearly hear the splendid truth.

“I don’t care,” God said. “You decide.”

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